My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a few months. How do I know if I’ve had an orgasm?

Great question! In technical terms, an orgasm is a physical reflex where the muscles that were tightened during sexual arousal release and return to their pre-arousal state through a series of rhythmic contractions. Everyone experiences orgasm differently, but some common experiences include: sweating, vibrating, changes in breathing, a feeling of warmth, or an urge to cry out.

It’s ok if you’ve never had an orgasm or if you’re unsure whether or not you’ve had one.  For many women, it’s difficult to orgasm through penis in vagina sex alone–lots of women need additional stimulation on their clitoris from fingers, mouths, or toys.

If you want to have an orgasm with your partner, the best thing to do is to practice on your own first. Light some candles, draw a bath, and figure out what makes you tick. Then ask your partner to do that for you.